User blog:Johndoe-m9/Nebet Khalifa (Mia Khalifa Parody)
(A text message from Nefertiti’s phone is shown thanking Ammon Bast for sabotaging T.I.M.E. Temporal Crimes Division’s time machine) Woman's Voice: You melted up them balls like a diva! (The camera switches to a white background, with Jack Archer and Zara Tien seen with their backs turned walking and smoking weed, with the Travel in Time logo being shown while 8-bit music plays. The camera then switches to Jack, who turns wearing a bulletproof vest, dark goggles, and a tactical face mask. The team’s time machine is shown with the Season 6 logo shown before the camera switches back to Jack, who takes off his face gear to show his dissatisfied and unimpressed face. As the intro starts, the background flickers to Zara holding a red megaphone before showing Jack with another face mask) Zara: (through megaphone) J-J-J-Jack Archer! Jack: Who do you think you are? You were being dick for Egyptian tsar! (Brr-rrr-rrr) Gotta make that call, Ammon wants you work, so girl, go do your job! (Jack dances in the white empty background while it begins to change color and shows afterimages of Jack. Jack then shows a large Ptolemian pyramid before being seen driving a silver car with “Brr-rrr-rrr” showing up above it. Jack is later seen walking and dancing on a black surface holding a phone while a space background shows up before turning to the camera to taunt Nefertiti) Jack: (Nebet!) Nebet Khalifa (Nebet!) Nebet Khalifa (Nebet!) Nebet Khalifa (Nebet!) Nebet Khalifa (Nebet!) Nebet Khalifa (Nebet!) Nebet Khalifa (Nebet!) Nebet Khalifa! (Jack continues dancing around the background until he is seen sitting near his car. A colorful background with three 8-bit coins and black words, “FOOL’S GOLD” flashes before showing Jack and Zara on a grassy hill with a light blue sky dancing) Jack: We all have regrets sometimes, We wish to go back in time... (Body, body, body, body) That's temporal lives! (Cl-e-o, Ma-ru-co) That's a lot of guys, damn Don't you wish you changed your past? 'Cause it's so bad Don't you wish you changed your past? 'Cause it's so bad Mia Khalifa Is that why you doubled after three times? Is that why you said bye bye, resigned? Is that why you said, "Fuck these guys"? (Jack and Zara stop dancing and walk through the field, with Jack showing his watch at the camera and Zara nodding. Jack and Zara are later seen in a blue room, with the latter showing the important people in the past killed as a result of Nefertiti and Ammon meddling with time and the former being sarcastically surprised of this. Jack is later seen washing his face in a bathroom while putting cream on it. The partners then dance to the beat before a gold silhouette of a posing Nefertiti, changing the scene to a golden statue of her, where Jack and Zara desecrating it with black spray paint to defame her. The partners then dance like before before another gold silhouette of Nefertiti appears, changing the scene to a stage showing the princess before Zara assassinates her with a sniper rifle, gaining “7 Trillion” points for the kill. Jack then appears while flashbacks of Nefertiti (as Nebet) with several T.I.M.E members are shown, laughing with each other, playing games, and talking about 2029. Jack then dances in the white background again before showing two copies of himself. He backs away and makes a mock “bye-bye” gesture before the scene changes to him burning the Ptolemy family’s portrait, with Jack insulting Nefertiti further with a middle finger to the camera) Jack: Who do you think you are? You were being dick for Egyptian tsar! (Brr-rrr-rrr) Gotta make that call, Ammon wants you work, so girl, go do your job! (Nebet!) Nebet Khalifa (Nebet!) Nebet Khalifa (Nebet!) Nebet Khalifa (Nebet!) Nebet Khalifa (Nebet!) Nebet Khalifa (Nebet!) Nebet Khalifa (Nebet!) Nebet Khalifa! Street Fighter Announcer: Fight! (Jack is seen in New Cairo shooting down a spray-painted SOMBRA logo with a gun before beating up three Ptolemian guards with a staff before pissing on them, with rain starting to appear. Zara is seen inside a giant tank shooting down every building she sees while Jack rides a fighter plane to attack the Ptolemy Dynasty. In a blue background, Zara is seen walking down a parking alley before showing a bunch of expensive cars. The scene changes to Zara with sunglasses flashing two middle fingers and her tongue at the camera to taunt Nefertiti more) Zara: Hit or miss: I guess they never miss, huh? You got a rogue dude, I bet he doesn't kiss ya! He gon' back to time and he won't miss ya! He gon' skrrt and hit the dab like Wiz Khalifa! You melted up them balls like a diva! You on every level, you're the leader, ooh. You used to work at Mr Burger. Now you shoot your pussy at the Ptolemy Brothers, (And that bangs, bro) Shots fired, you're fired! You're washed up, call ya retired! Your titties looks like a flat tire! (Eww!) I bet that your kitty real tired Street Fighter Announcer: Perfect! (Zara spins and does a pose similar to the Tik-Tok memes involving this diss track, with her flashing another middle finger. Zara smirks and reveals a hologram of Ammon Bast, with Jack dancing. Zara is later seen relaxing and slowly bending on a fence before being shown dancing on a disco floor. The scene then changes to Zara walking through a garden hall, dancing, before being seen in a gold background crushing two balls into black tar. Zara is later seen dancing while looking at herself in a mirror holding her phone to her ear before appearing near an evil Astro, who drops gold down to someone else’s head, possibly Ramses XVIII, who screams in pain with his hands failing in the air. The scenes changes to a destroyed New Cairo, with Zara firing two guns at the camera before going into a bathroom to flush a toilet with her foot, the flushing toilet fading to show Zara writing her diary on her chair before looking at herself in a mirror dissing Nefertiti) Jack and Zara: Who do you think you are? You were being dick for Egyptian tsar! (Brr-rrr-rrr) Gotta make that call, Ammon wants you work, so girl, go do your job! (Nebet!) Nebet Khalifa (Nebet!) Nebet Khalifa (Nebet!) Nebet Khalifa (Nebet!) Nebet Khalifa (Nebet!) Nebet Khalifa (Nebet!) Nebet Khalifa (Nebet!) Nebet Khalifa! Street Fighter Announcer: You win! (Zara converts into Jack, who continues to diss Nefertiti until he is seen walking down a golden stairway with Zara, who slides down the railing to get to the bottom, before dancing along with Zara. As they continues to dance, they travel through time to confront Nefertiti, who is seen carrying a workload on her back. Jack and Zara cock their guns at Nefertiti’s head and kill her, with a section of her brains and skull flying out of the back of her head while the bullets fly out. Nefertiti’s body collapses, causing green words, “YOU WIN!” to appear. Jack and Zara then walk away to time-travel again to parts unknown) Moral: Never trust a descendant, even if they look like a pornstar Egyptian that will diss you someday. Category:Blog posts